Top 5 Shingly Facts from EVE Online

Just in time for his glorious birthday, here are the Top 10 Facts about Shingly, Goonswarms premier Diplomacy Specialist.

#5 He discovered Jay Amazingness at a “The Verve” Concert.

Their two groups were standing next to each other and eventually merged where the two met, found out they both played EVE Online and Shingly recruited him into GSF where Jay went on to become the most dominant Fleet Commander the game has ever seen, and a moderator on /r/eve. Kazanir once quipped during the Beeitnam War’s invasion of Delve by PAPI, “You two meeting was such a Bittersweet Symphony”.

#4: BlazingBunny once claimed PAPI was afraid to see “Mr Vee is typing” only because he couldn’t bring himself to say Shingly’s name.

Goonswarm’s mightiest weapon is not it’s Supercapital fleet, Reavers, or even Blackops. It’s Shingly’s discord PM’s which have laid low even the mighty Konstantine.

#3: He’s a FFXIV Superhero on his Data Center

After a young girl was being bullied for not being a top notch White Mage during her static’s attempts to clear Kefka in Sigmascape 4.0 Savage, Shingly formed a group of himself, 9 other players, and her and cleared it first run.

Then he had Jay Amazingness and FSync stop by the bullies house and throw Easter Eggs at it breaking one window and ruining the paint job on a Honda Civic.

Once the story broke on the news he was given an upstanding citizen award by his local council, and Naoki Yoshida invented the GunBlade class to honor Shingly’s efforts at keeping his game fun for all.

#2: He once stopped a carjacking attempt with an MySQL Database

Shingly was walking to work one day when he noticed a man in a black ski mask attempting to steal the car of an elderly woman. Reaching into his messenger bag, he pulled forth a 1TB USB stick containing the entirety of the Goonswarm SRP Database, and shouting “STOP IN THE NAME OF MERKELCHENS BEARD”.

The USB stick hit the would be robber straight in the face knocking him unconscious and allowing the elderly woman to retain her car. As the police hauled off the would be car thief, Shingly shouted at the man getting cuffed “LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU, AND DON’T ATTEMPT A MYSQL CARJACKING”.

#1: Everyone Loves Shingly

From angry Kangaroo’s to ferocious Honey Badgers, Girl Scouts and The Pope, everyone on earth loves Shingly. Even Gobbins, who once sent him a $1500 dollar bottle of wine for his birthday last year.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

4 × 2 =